I was pregnant… then I lost it 😦

We were able to see our baby with a ultrasound and see a heart beat


It all started off with spotting and ended up being something more like a period… on crack!

The second I left the ER I started getting really hard cramps that felt like what I imagine contractions feel like… 2 days later at my appointment we found out we lost it.

This baby wasn’t planned but I already loved it. From the second I found out I was pregnant I tried not to get too excited because I knew the facts about first pregnancys and the possibility of having a  miscarriage. My whole life, even as a young girl I had dreams that this would happen. I thought it made me feel like I could handle it better but I am realizing… that’s not the case and it is still hard.

As much as I tried not to get too attached I was hoping the 1st trimester would fly because I just wanted to shout that I was pregnant. I vlogged almost everything and hope to share it soon once this whole pregnancy is over..

What I mean by that is…. I am still miscarrying. Turns out that it’s not a one day process for everyone, especially because I chose to go through my miscarriage naturally. This was a decision I thought would be best…. turns out every time I go to the restroom… it’s just a constant reminder that I lost the baby and am no longer pregnant or going to be a Mom.

Here’s a video I was going to share with you guys announcing to Ruben I was pregnant.

It was a FAIL

And this is how I told my friends on Snap Chat what was happening

I still plan on sharing my whole pregnancy vlog BECAUSE this is something so many woman go through but not everyone likes to share. I feel like this could really help someone. Once I snapped about it I had about 11 girls that follow me tell me that this was something they went through too and some have never told anyone.

Everyone deals with everything differently and that is okay.

This is just how I’m deal with mine.


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